Knowing

I just came from Florida a few days ago. I spent some time with my oldest sister and my mom, my mom's friend and my son. It was a good time. It wasn't until the end of the trip that sadness came to my spirit, and I realized that I would be leaving my mom and sister and not see them for a very long time. I wanted to be strong though, whatever that is. I didn't cry. But my mom did. She always does, when we part. She always has. I used to be that way too, but then one day my tears dried up, not my love, my tears. Now, when I am leaving my family I allow myself to feel the sadness, but tears do not come, except maybe.....if I see one of them crying first then I start to cry too. But this time, I hugged my mom, and she hugged me too, and I knew again if no one ever loved me in this life she did. And knowing that warms my heart, and fills my eyes with tears, even now, still.