Dear Life: It's me, Keshia

Still pondering healing, but too, now, I wonder about the changed life. In my case, my changing my life. Today, I cried a lot, because I realized that I need to change my life, make better choices, and the pain and sadness and frustration that has clung to me in pockets in my life, I must deal with. I am tired of playing the life game. You know, the one where you avoid everything painful, and where you sit on the sidelines, but tell yourself you're not, because you have twenty to-do lists that reflect busy. Instead I wish to live life and simply live well aware and not asleep. I want to be in every moment, and not five miles down the road in my thoughts. I want to laugh more and have conversations with people who are no longer asleep too. The journey will be painful at times. I know because the pain that I felt today was great. Today, I'm lettin' everybody off the hook, including myself. Everyone needs some happiness in their lives. Their own harvest. Today, I decided that I want to be healed. Today I decided I want to claim my own harvest.